Recover from Leukemia
“Do not run away, face this life!” Wise words are often easily spoken. However, in 1991, when Anand Krishna was still a businessman and owner of a garment factory, these words were merely empty when he faced problems and difficulties. At that time, he represented all of us who often forget that postponing issues is equivalent to running away. Nevertheless, we must resolve the problems we are facing.
Anand Krishna’s story can be read in more detail and comprehensively in the books “Soul Quest” and “Meditation & Neo Zen Reiki”. But here is a brief story of how Anand Krishna transformed from a businessman, a factory owner, into a Spiritual Activist dedicating his entire life to humanity.
For those who consider this world as everything, for those who think they will live forever, for those who believe we will be fine tomorrow, for those who think that life is separate from death, it is mandatory to read this true story.
FAINTING
In 1991, in March, Anand Krishna was brushing his teeth at the sink. Suddenly, he blacked out and fell. The sound of the fall from someone weighing more than 90 kilos was heard by family members. They helped to revive him and then rushed him to the hospital.
The doctor said he was suffering from a severe illness. It turned out his Hemoglobin (Hb) levels, the red blood cells flowing in the body, had drastically dropped to only 2.7. The normal range for a healthy man is between 14 to 16. He was not allowed to go home and had to stay overnight.
Haemoglobin (Hb) is a protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to the body. If the body lacks blood (low Hb), it lacks oxygen, which can result in symptoms such as fatigue, laziness, weakness, shortness of breath, palpitations, nausea, pale face, weakened immune system, fainting, and loss of the original skin color.
At that time, he did not take it seriously because he thought it might be due to a lot of work at the office. Indeed, almost every day he worked for more than a dozen hours, coming home just to sleep. This was because he had just invested a lot of capital in a new industry, which had been his dream for a long time. Considering it trivial, he only responded by taking one vitamin pill. It didn’t last long, and he eventually collapsed again.
LEUKEMIA (BLOOD CANCER)
Subsequently, he received a blood transfusion, his Hb levels rose, and he began to feel refreshed again. Then the doctor conducted various tests to determine the cause of his illness. X-rays, scans, and bone marrow samples were taken and examined in the lab. And, it turned out to be: Blood Cancer, Leukemia!
Leukemia, or Blood Cancer, is one of the deadliest and most frightening diseases. Leukemia cells are abnormal cells that accumulate in the bone marrow, working to destroy and replace the cells that produce normal blood cells.
Leukemia cells will cause damage to vital organs and make the physical condition weak, with body temperature continuously rising for a long time, shortness of breath, restlessness or fear, and difficulty sleeping.
HOW LONG CAN I SURVIVE?
Interestingly, Anand Krishna did not inquire about recovery, but rather, “How much longer can I survive?” Of course, the doctor could not answer that, but he suggested that a bone marrow transplant should be done immediately. However, his condition at that time was quite severe. Within just a week, his Hb levels, which had risen due to the blood transfusion, began to decline again.
The question, “How much longer can I survive?” Upon reflection and in his subconscious, he stated that he was so weary of life and no longer had any desire to live. If there were still a desire to live, he would surely ask about the healing process.
At that time, he was not conscious of asking that question. After nearly 8 months had passed, he began to reflect again and realized that he was actually running away from the problems he was facing. Death was the only way out of the problems he was facing.
He then attempted to seek treatment in various countries and through various alternative therapies in search of instant healing.
Ironically, for over a dozen years, he had been lecturing on how temporary the body is and how enduring the soul is, which is a spark of God, Allah. But when facing illness, the difference between body and soul was forgotten. You may declare yourself as a believer, but when you fall ill or face adversity, you run right, you run left – seeking shamans, seeking wise men. Our faith is not yet perfect – it’s still half-hearted.
GOING TO INDIA TO MEET HIS MASTER
Amidst his turmoil, he remembered Sri Sathya Sai Baba (November 23, 1926 – April 24, 2011), who was his Spiritual Guru. Coincidentally, he was also entrusted with the management of the Sri Sathya Sai Foundation as National Secretary. He had been active in the organization since 1973 and eventually resigned in 1989.
Sri Sathya Sai Baba was renowned for his miracles. Sai Baba had a deep understanding of the needs of the underprivileged in India. Dozens of schools, polytechnics, even colleges, and public hospitals built and managed by the Sai Baba organization did not charge any fees or were very minimal. Although Sai Baba was known for his miracles, it was his teachings about love that intrigued him. His birth in Solo, Central Java, had brought him into contact with so many mystics, who could demonstrate very similar miracles, if not exceeding, those of Sai Baba. So, it didn’t pique his interest.
Since 1981, whenever he faced Sai Baba, among thousands of visitors, Sai Baba would always approach him and exchange a word or two. But this time, for a week, two weeks, wherever Sai Baba went, his rented car followed. Sai Baba didn’t approach him.
His condition worsened. His body temperature never returned to normal, always above 38 degrees. At night, he could hardly sleep. His body temperature often reached 40. Sometimes he felt short of breath, sometimes his body was so weak, that he was truly suffering.
Seeing his suffering, his son couldn’t hold back. As soon as he saw Sai Baba approaching his line, he stood up and explained that his father was sick. Baba turned and told him, “Your father is not sick.” The son was confused, and then he told him about Sai Baba’s words.
He saw it as a sign from the Master that his illness had been healed. That very day, he stopped taking the doctor’s medicine and decided to return to Indonesia after almost a month of chasing Sai Baba.
BACK TO BUSINESS IN JAKARTA
Many problems awaited, and stress resurfaced. The company was still new, and the bank-approved credit had not been disbursed yet. This was because financial institutions were implementing a tight money policy at that time.
Suddenly his illness reappeared, worsening, and he couldn’t bear it anymore. Mentally, his thoughts were chaotic, and he wanted to escape from the problems he was facing. One morning, he woke up and couldn’t see anything – total blackout. But after blinking several times, his vision returned to normal. However, after that day, his vision was no longer normal because it was as if there was a haze in front of his eyes.
Now, from the mental layer, it had spread to the physical layer. If initially it was his mental state that clouded his view of the way out of the problem – now it was physical.
Oh God, is there a God?
Sin, karma, trial? How many hundreds, how many thousands of times he had used those words to comfort people who were sick, who were in trouble. Now, he had to hear the same words from others. Just words! He was fed up with words like that.
In his heart, the thought of suicide had crossed his mind. But maybe he didn’t dare. Perhaps he was still too aware of his responsibilities to work, employees, family, etc.
LETTING GO OF THE COMPANY/FACTORY
Due to frequent hospital visits, his company lost its leadership. His health condition became more critical until he had to be hospitalized for a month. Eventually, after introspection, he decided to let go of the company.
In August 1991, he finally relinquished the factory. As a consequence, he also had to let go of the house that had been mortgaged to another bank. The factory was taken over by a company approved by the bank.
That day, he felt like he lost his soul. A dream had come to an end.
RETURNING TO MEET HIS MASTER
With just a few hundred dollars in his pocket and credit cards that were no longer valid due to months of unpaid bills, he set off for India again to meet the Guru.
But for a month, the Guru remained silent. He began to judge himself: Perhaps the Guru was punishing him for his mistakes, his sins. He had to face death and prolonged suffering.
He only now realized how terrifying death was!
He felt like he had deceived himself and others. He had traveled across Indonesia many times and given countless lectures on life, birth, and death – that the dead and the sick are just bodies, that the soul is eternal and never suffers.
Ah, it turns out that everything I learned all that time only touched the surface. I’m so afraid to face death!
MEETING THE MYSTERIOUS LAMA
Finally, after exactly one month at Baba’s place, I decided to leave. I headed to Bangalore, South India.
One day in November 1991, I visited a monastery and there I met a Lama, a Bikshu (Bikku) from the Himalayas in Leh (Laddakh – India), who happened to be visiting the Indian mainland.
I then spoke with the Lama and received his invitation to visit Leh. The journey to Leh was nearly 3,000 kilometres from where they were at the time. And with an Hb of around 4.7 – on the brink of death – a day after the Lama’s departure – I flew to New Delhi, and from there embarked on a long journey to the Himalayas.
A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO DIE
Arriving in Leh, it turned out I had to travel another 70-80 kilometres to the Lama’s residence, which took 4-5 hours due to the heavily damaged road caused by the weather. Sick, nauseous, sometimes feeling hot-cold – on the brink of death, I arrived at the Lama’s place.
Strangely, the Lama was outside the gate. “Ah, you have arrived, welcome,” he said. In my heart, I wondered how he knew about my arrival. Eventually, the Lama led me to a small, empty room, about 2×2 meters, so I could rest.
I was awakened about 2 hours later. On the table was chai – Indian-style milk tea, warm, and some small snacks.
“You have found the most appropriate place to die,” the Lama said. I might have been slightly offended at the time. “To die?” – I thought to myself, “Isn’t it to find health here?”.
Lama: Look at the River Sindhu flowing in front of you and there are the Himalayan mountains with eternal snow – the most beautiful place. You will not find a more beautiful place.
Anand Krishna: Indeed, this place is very beautiful, but it’s so far away…
Lama: Yes, the journey is far, and tiring, but beauty is not easily obtained. Stop fighting death. You have never tried death – you have never experienced death, at least in your life now. Perhaps death is more beautiful than life.
I didn’t know what to say.
Lama: Don’t run away from life. Face everything with a smile on your lips. We always forget that we are fully responsible for ourselves. We create problems, we also have to solve them.
These words were not new; I had heard them in many books before. But the way the Lama conveyed them was so direct without fear of hurting my feelings. He didn’t try to soothe my soul. He urged me to look at Death with open eyes.
Strangely, in an instant, I realized that I had been running away all this time. Always looking for support. I now knew exactly what had made me sick all this time. I had to take full responsibility for my own life, with no help from outside. Without assistance from anyone, I had to face everything alone.
With this change in perspective, suddenly I became strong. It was as if a new energy had entered me. That night, I slept soundly. I hadn’t slept soundly for almost a year.
THE NEW “I”
The next morning, it wasn’t me who woke up. It was a new “I” who woke up. The trees outside were still the same as the day before, but I had changed. The chirping of the birds in the trees was still the same, but I found a new song in their chirping. I had been reborn. Joyful, Happy! I was free from fear.
“Do whatever you want to do. Don’t suppress your emotions. Scream as loud as you can. Free yourself from the garbage of thoughts, emotions, and anger that you have been harbouring. Release your anxieties. Unburden your worries. Free yourself from fear. Enter the realm of meditation, in that realm, there is health, tranquillity, and serenity.”
I still remember the words of the Lama very well. He also explained that meditation can only happen when we have freed ourselves from the cluttered garbage of thoughts and buried emotions.
To enter the realm of meditation, sitting silently, motionless, will never help. We must start with active self-cleansing; after that, silence, and tranquillity will happen naturally.
ACCEPTING DEATH WITH A SMILE
A day after returning to Jakarta, since the encounter with the Lama, I went back to the doctor and insisted on immediate hospitalization. But I insisted on just having a blood transfusion. I decided that it would be the last transfusion; I wouldn’t go back to the doctor or the hospital again.
I needed a little strength to settle some unfinished business like emptying the house and moving the family elsewhere.
Now, I am ready to accept death, just as I accept life. Birth is beyond our control; we cannot choose our birth. But death – I realize that I can choose how to face death, with a smile on my lips or with cries and screams. With full consciousness, I choose to die with a smile on my lips.
My only request is one: Give me strength, O Existence – God, Allah, Buddha, Bhagavan – so that I can maintain this smile until my last breath!
HEALED MIRACULOUSLY
Once I accepted death, I felt relieved. The tension vanished, the anxiety disappeared. There was no more worry, no more fear. Now I am ready to accept anything.
Three to four days after the blood transfusion, one morning I woke up around 5 am. When I saw the time, I realized that I must have slept the night before. I felt so refreshed. I was amazed! For almost a year, due to my body’s troubling condition and the rising body temperature at night, I usually could only sleep around three or four in the morning and wake up around 7 am.
That day, I woke up at 5 am feeling fresh. Ah, it could just be a coincidence – I thought. But the next day, I felt even fresher. And the day after that, fresher still.
Exactly a week after the transfusion, I went to the doctor again for a routine checkup. It was miraculous. My Hb had increased to 8. The doctor asked about the reason. Wisely, I told him about meditation and the change in my mental attitude.
A week later, my Hb increased again to around 12. However, the following week, it dropped to 11. After several Hb tests, it remained around 11-12. It couldn’t rise any further, but it wasn’t worrisome either. I was healthy!
SHARING THE FEELING
Since his recovery, there has been a shift in mental attitude. Mr. Anand Krishna has also changed his lifestyle and pursued a more meaningful life, one that is noble, for the benefit of the many. He wants to share healing, tranquility, peace, and true happiness through meditation, through the path within ourselves – a path we have not explored before.
The meditation exercises and definitions taught are based on Mr. Anand Krishna’s experiences and tailored to modern society.
For those who wish to experience meditation exercises, we invite you to come to Anand Ashram in Jakarta, Yogyakarta, Kuta Bali, and Ubud Bali.